If This Movie Was a Sentence
Food, Inc. (2008)

We are the collective dog that follows the stick thrown by our appointment-by-apathy master, the media zeitgeist; when we return to our bowl, greed manifests itself in our bowl in the form of high fructose corn syrup, and any new magical concoction that increases market capitalization.

submitted by PP

Run Lola Run (1998)

Kind of like a techno-punk Groundhog’s Day, we were all just biting our nails waiting for the inevitable ending to wash away our fears.

Punch-Drunk Love (2002)

Seriously oddball love-flick pretty much elevates Adam Sandler past criticism, period.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

The spoiled feminazi played by Julia Stiles nearly ruined Heath Ledger for me and is also the only thing I associate with Sarah Lawrence University.

Attack of the 50 ft. Woman (1958)

Lies, all lies; what’s on this sweet, iconic poster isn’t even a scene in this b-movie.

A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)

Nobody remembers the narrative of abuse and emotional disintegration, only how hot Brando looked in an undershirt.

Tonari no Totoro/My Neighbor Totoro (1988)

Heartwarming family films with cute animals and surprising situations usually just end up in mountains of merchandise.

Romeo + Juliet (1996)

Guns instead of swords, this extasy-enhanced trip was the hotter, better way of preparing for your Shakespeare exam.

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1995)

Drag Queen road flick not unlike Australia’s ‘Priscilla’, but Blade, Luigi, and that guy from ‘Ghost’ can really rock the frock and a c*ck.

Rent (2005)

90s Bohemians prance about in the East Village, a bunch of them have AIDS but only the transsexual has to die for the sake of “story”.